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Naturally, you might get anxious about this responsibility as a parent. You might also get nervous about your kids succeeding in life—and homework often becomes the focus of that concern. The battle about homework actually becomes a battle over control.
Your child starts fighting to have more control over the choices in his life, while you feel that your job as a parent is to be in control of things. So you both fight harder, and it turns into a war in your home. Instead, focus on what helps his behavior improve.
Your child might forget to do his homework, do his homework but not hand it in, do it sloppily or carelessly, or not study properly for his test. These are just a few ways that kids try to hold onto the little control they have.
When this starts happening, parents feel more and more out of control, so they punish, nag, threaten, argue, throw up their hands or over-function for their kids by doing the work for them.
Now the battle is in full swing: The hard truth is that you cannot make your children do anything, let alone homework.
Instead, the idea is to set limits, respect their individual choices and help motivate them to motivate themselves. Here are some concrete tips to help you guide them in their work without having to nag, threaten or fight with them.
Ask yourself what worked in the past: Think about a time when your child has gotten homework done well and with no hassles. What made it work that time? Ask your child about it and believe what he says.
See what works and motivates him instead of what motivates you. Stop the nightly fights. The way you can stop fighting with your kids over homework every night is to stop fighting with them tonight. Disengage from the dance. Choose some different steps or decide not to dance at all.
Let homework stay where it belongs—between the teacher and the student. Refuse to get pulled in by the school in the future. Stay focused on your job, which is to help your child do his job. If you feel yourself getting reactive or frustrated, take a break from helping your child with homework.May 24, · About the Author: Kristen Pope.
Kristen Pope is a Jackson Hole, Wyoming based writer and editor. Her work has appeared in Discover, Backpacker, Western Confluence, International Journal of Wilderness, and Planning Magazine, and she is the managing editor of JHStyle Magazine.
A teacher asks her student why he did not do his homework, and he offers her enough excuses to fill a book, varying from the possibly plausible (“My sister’s rabbit chewed up all my pencils and workbooks”) to the highly unlikely (“I gave my pencils to Robin Hood”) to the head-scratchingly inexplicable (“My brother had his little problem again”).
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